National Toilet Expo & Forum
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Friday, 21 November 08 - 06:56 PM (GMT +08:00) By Khairil Mokhzani Bahar in Bad Craziness |
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Discovered on a recent trip to Seremban. Because, after all, "Zero Dirty Toilet Our Commitment".
I need more coffee.
Saving Private Sufiah
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Tuesday, 08 April 08 - 05:36 PM (GMT +08:00) By Khairil Mokhzani Bahar in Bad Craziness |
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So I went downstairs today and saw a copy of yesterday's Malay Mail: SUFIAH BARES ALL. The article was about how the young hotshot maths genius Sufiah Yusof went from gaining admitance into Oxford University aged thirteen to now becoming a high-paid escort. To read the full story, you can click here, here and here.
The Malay Mail article was based on an article that came out of the 'News of the World' which, as we all know, is the leading newspaper for information in England (read: sarcasm).
However, this isn't the bad craziness I'm referring to. As far as I'm concerned, discovering that this baby genius turned into an escort is a mild aside at best. She wants to bone, she gets paid for it, and she's not a 20-bob-a-fuck 'busty model' on the second floor of some dingy apartment in Soho. She's an escort. She gets paid the big bucks and can choose not to sleep with her clients if she so desires. There's the moral question, obviously, but she's a big girl, and if this is how she wants to spend the rest of her life, fuck it.
Perhaps she's in denial, perhaps there's a whole psychological aspect to it. After all, her father was the one who pushed her to the limits of her childhood brain with newfangled techniques which involved sticking her in a freezing cold room whilst studying and is now in the docks for being a pederast:
"Her father Farooq Yusof was a pioneer in the scientifically unproven tutoring process called hothousing. He had promised "more Sufiahs" along a production-line process utilizing hothousing techniques. He pleaded guilty in April 2008 over charges of "indecently assaulting two 15-year-old girls while working as a personal tutor""
- Daily Telegraph
So there could be more to this, but that wasn't what got me in a huff. What's bugging me is that there's a 'Save Sufiah' programme, headed by Deputy Minister Datuk Dr Mashitah Ibrahim:
"The Malaysian government is now planning an ambitious "Save Sufiah Programme" to rehabilitate Sufiah and "return her to the right path." Malay Community Association of United Kingdom began funds to support 'Love Suffiah' Campaign. A delegation from Malaysia headed by Ustaz Trimizi Zainal will depart Malaysia on 19th April to treat Sufiah using Islamic Medical practice, as they believe she is under the influence of black magic."
So the government wants to start a programme, which I assume will cost something, in efforts to save this lost sheep of the flock, purely out of the good will of their hearts and has nothing to do with the severe beatdown the current government is still bruising from after the recent elections. And whilst that's going on, a bomoh's going to be sent off to England to cast out the evil demons that have made this young genius' pussy wet.
Right. That makes sense.
What about the hundreds of prostitutes in our own damn country who didn't have a choice? The ones who were forced into the profession, riddled with STD's and demeaned on an hourly fucking basis? The ones that didn't choose their trade, like Sufiah did? I'm not questioning the occupation, I'm questioning the way these people got into it, and as far as I'm concerned, Sufiah chose to get paid to fuck. Whether that's right or wrong, regardless of whatever disturbing domestic past she had that may have influenced her to take this path, she chose it. She had that power. There are hundreds upon thousands in this country who don't.
But no. We won't set up a task force to save them, we'll set one up to save this one girl who's been in the press in the past and touched so many hearts, who's got her tits out in the News of the World and did so because evil djinns made her punanny tingle with their demon powers. Forget all those other ho's, they're all lost causes, let's save this one!
And what do you think will happen if you force her to come back, because that's what this is: force. She'll be a scarlet woman. Her face is already in the press all over the country, people will know her name, and no amount of tudungs will hide that. Guys all over the area will try and hit on her in the hope that she's just as big a slut back home as she was in England. Hell, I hate to think it, but they'll probably tie her up in alleyways and rape the unholy shit out of her because they'll think she deserves it for being such a superslut, that she likes it like that. It's a disgusting fucking thought, I know, but are you telling me it's not possible? And even if they don't demean her on a daily basis, she'll always be looked down on. There'll be a big neon sign hovering over her tits that says "I used to fuck for large wads of cash" shining bright.
This task force won't help her, and it's not designed to, and that's the sad fucking fact of the matter. It's done for the same reasons as the Black Metal witch hunts and sending Malaysians to outerspace.
It's all good publicity.
Addendum:
I would just like to add that if there's anyone I do feel for in this whole debacle, it's her siblings and mother, and if by some chance they read this post and feel it insensitive, I'll take it down straight away, no questions asked. After all, I do shoot my mouth off quite a bit over here and some of the descriptions could be deemed as... well... way too descriptive and depraved. I can't imagine what they must be going through, seeing their daughter plastered all over the internet and newspapers, and I'm sure they want nothing more than to have her back which, more that ever, makes me feel that the publicity and goverment task forces are nothing but insensitive towards them for bringing this subject to the fore way too much.
Seacrest, out.
Man-ginas, He-bitches, etc.
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Monday, 24 March 08 - 04:11 AM (GMT +08:00) By Khairil Mokhzani Bahar in Bad Craziness |
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So I was going through random sites using StumbleUpon when I landed on a site with a bunch of interesting facts about the Human World. Interesting facts about famous people, mad kings, religion and cultures. For example, did you know that Elizabeth I put a tax on men's beards? Or that Iceland is the worlds oldest working democracy? Interesting stuff. Then I scrolled down and found this:
"In parts of Malaya, the women keep harems of men."
...fucking where?!
A Word From Bugsys Oldman
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Tuesday, 18 March 08 - 03:59 AM (GMT +08:00) By Khairil Mokhzani Bahar in Bad Craziness |
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Those of you that know me know my stance on Rocky III: the one that you remember as being cool as a kid but watch again with one eyebrow arched when you're grown up after realizing how homoerotic and camp it is compared to the first two.
As well as how many times the words 'eye of the tiger' is mentioned.
(By the way, no: this isn't the one with the Russian and the robot maid).
On the Flixster application on Facebook, I may have mentioned this, because it's the only reason I can think of for receiving the following message from someone named 'Bugsys Oldman':
"Pin your scouse ears back and listen in you toerag.
I don't normally make it my business to converse with dirty little backstreet villains like you but I had heard several complaints that you had been badmouthing Rocky and to my disgust I find that this is true.
There is nothing homoerotic about 2 heroes grappling with one another despite what your warped mind may think. You have clearly never been in a fight, let alone gone 10 rounds with a true champion. A real man would only see the beauty in such a spectacle and get appreciate the emotion of the scene.
If you really want to learn the true meaning of the word homoerotic, then I might let Bungle and Wilding get double-naughty on you.
You have been treading a fine line and so until I hear better things, you will remain on my list and let me tell you, that is not a good list to be on, lad.
I'll be keeping my eye on you from now on to make sure you stay in check."
I've never been called a scouse before, and I don't think it applies.
Cyber Geek or Playa Pimp?
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Tuesday, 18 March 08 - 03:39 AM (GMT +08:00) By Khairil Mokhzani Bahar in Bad Craziness |
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Ok, maybe I haven't been on-line enough, maybe it's because I don't play World of Warcraft, maybe it's because I have a fucking life, but if any of you guys out there know who the fuck is 'Athene, the 1337 King'?
No? Didn't think so.
I was randomly typing 'horny' in the search field of YouTube (purely for research purposes, you understand) when I came across this video:
Do not be fooled by the tits in the preview window. Seriously, don't. It's an illusion. You may think you're getting some marvelous webcam titty action but it's all a trick. Just click on play. Seriously, click on play and watch maybe a minute or twoand you will see an insane-floppy-haired-Flock-of-Seagulls-lookin'-motherfucker talk intensely and passionately... about how to get a horny bitch by ignoring her, because Paladin's keep their mind on World of Warcraft or something. Watch him as he compares himself to Jesus, and warns you of not putting the pussy on a pedestal. You will think you are watching the next Borat, except this guy, apparently, isn't faking it.
The man has a website for his upcoming 'movie', and this is what the website says:
"I, Merciless Gladiator Athene, who am also the best World of Warcraft player in the world, am now documentizing my life as a pro-gamer in a real movie (like Hollywood), for you guys, for free. My movie will show how good I am so the world can see, just like Jesus putted himself on the crouse to show ppl that he was a cool guy, I am putting myself on the cinema. I just heal ppl and I help ppl, that's me, it's just like profets, for the movie ppl; u can compare it with John Skywalker from Star Trek.
- Learn 2 become pro in game and in life thx to my tips
- Watch me teach the Light to ppl in real life and interact with the real world
- Learn how to seduce chicks ATHENE-style
- Watch how I am pro at cooking
- Learn how to make good money ATHENE-style
- See my family
- Learn how I play Arena and how u can pwn in 5v5"
This is what World of Warcraft does to your children. Whatever happened to the cool kids who played '1942' in the arcade?
... More items are available in my News Archive
